Life : In A Nutshell

My Life

The first thing that comes to my mind when i think of my life is the epic question: 'Who am I?"
Well now i try to face myself and introspect about it.This post is dedicated to the billions of human souls existing in this world.I honestly have no idea who i am!So lets find out or infer from the following few instances who I really am!

A confused soul

A man is judged by his actions.But how will we know the correct thing to do?Each day brings new circumstances and opportunities.The way which we react to these situations defines us.
What is the right thing to do?
Well I still have no right answers to that question.The best answer i have heard is ,"Let your heart guide you,do the things that you feel is right."

Well i think of things sometimes(has not lately).Well i think about life and it never ceases to amaze me.From the day i learned about the universe my mind has been clogged with doubts.
Human knowledge about the universe is so limited.Science produces more questions than answers.I am a believer.I believe in life,i believe in humanity and i believe in the universe.
The whole scale of the universe amazes me.From the largest of galaxies to the tiniest of atoms the universe has been under study for thousands of years.No matter how far we advance scientifically ,i believe that there is no end to science.
So i am confused.Why are we here?Why were we created?What is the purpose of my existence?
These were the main questions which were bugging me.I kept thinking and thinking until i stopped thinking.
That was the #facepalm time when i got so dull and unenthusiastic.
I came to the situation where i visualized life like this : "We are born,we live,we may become rich,we die" or else "We are born,we live ,we may become poor,we die."
A guy may live his life with just a single aim of making money,"But can he cheat death?"
Another guy may live his life content with himself and whatever little he has.Such a guy may not live a life in luxury but he is content with his life.Sooner or later he also dies.

Either way we are part of that loop from which there is no escape.All we have is belief,we believe what others believe.We are all blind men who can see.What right does I have to live in a villa?How can i sleep comfortably in an air-conditioned room,when billions of humans are dying of hunger?Why should i make money and become rich,while on the streets i see people begging for money?I am not a politician,i am not a messenger,i am just another simple common man who cares.

Ego less

"Don't preach what you don't practice". That's exactly the problem with me.I care for all.I have no enemies.I always try to do the right things.Yet i am a coward.
I run away from things.I care about the poor,but have not done anything for them.
Most people are like me.All they care about is their own stuff;their life,their job,their money.
I have no ego.My ego was destroyed when i realized the truth about life.I learned that there is just one life and each of us are here for a purpose.I realized that whatever we do is for good.
Our ancestors were right!


Emptiness
All that is left in me is an emptiness.I am content with what i am.I try to do my job to the best of my abilities.But after all i am also a human.I still haven't found out my purpose in life.I never intentionally hurt anybody,i don't have enemies.I still don't care whether i become rich or stay poor.All i want to do in my life is to make a change,however small it may be in this world.

Nothing really matters anyone can see.Nothing really matters for me.


Me
Who am I?My name is niks.I am twenty one years old.Currently doing my B.Tech(final year) ,I have absolutely no real plans for the future.I don't plan for things,i just go with the flow of things i.e i make decisions on the spot.I love writing(most of my writing is random)
I have been described a quiet child by many.Well i was an introvert child,i don't blame anyone for that.
I chose to be what i am and i am 'me'.
Well, i was thinking about what i have achieved in these twenty years and it amazes me.
I have achieved so little ,yet so much.Now that i have shed my "shy" tag,i soon realized what life really means.

Firstly i have got to know what family means and i consider it my greatest achievement.My life would have been worthless without them.
Secondly i came to realize what life is and is still understanding it.Life is for living and live it to the fullest.
Next i achieved the realization that none of the material things in life really matter,to live is to luv and to care.
So then i came to realize that we are nothing when compared to the vastness of this universe.Why make enemies in a wonderful world.One life is all we have,i believe the whole world to be one family.Finally i came to the most important realization of all , i.e what it means to have friends.


This post is for all,for peace and for hope.

My hope.

A Day In Life

CHAPTER 3

This is a true story which i thought i should share with you.


Ernakulam

So it was on a college working day and as usual it was the same routine repeated over and over again.I got tired of classes and was hoping for an opportunity to get out of it.

So as fate would have had it on that fateful day August 5th, Friday a friend was in need of rare A-ve blood.
In all these years i never had my blood group tested,so i didn't know my blood group.
Anyway i decided to donate my blood.(After all it was for a good cause)
He had cancer and the illness was on its last stage.

So now it's time for me to let out my secret i.e my physical appearance.
Well ever since birth i was thin.As long as i could remember ,wherever i went ,the "thin" tag kept following me.It follows me even now.
Well now i weigh just 55 kilos.
I went to the hospital and a nurse took my blood sample.
Then i was asked to fill up a #facepalm form which had a lot of funny questions.The questions ranged from "are you feeling healthy?", to "have you had coke?" and to "have you given money for sex?"
I answered only the first question with a "yes"(i.e "are you feeling healthy?")
At the hospital i learned that my friend was on ventilator.He had been denied treatment as a result of shortage of blood for transfusion.
The doctor examined me and checked my blood pressure.
She was critical of my health(The first question she asked was,"Are you not eating anything?")
Well contrary to popular belief i eat more than most people do.It's just that my genes are programmed to make me thin.
Anyway i was so determined to donate blood that finally i managed to convince the doctor to let me do it.
Well at first some anesthetic was rubbed onto my arm and later the transfer began.It was irritating at first and gradually i couldn't feel anything.
I assumed about ten minutes passed before i was lost in thought.
Then i forgot why i was there and started to think of things.It was so peaceful, calm and quiet.I was in the most wonderful dream.Minutes passed...i was still in the dream...

I was woken up to peering faces all looking anxious,it took a few moments for me to realize that i had fainted.I was unconscious only for a few moments, but now the blood transfer was stopped.
So now my head was aching a bit and continued to do so for a few minutes.
So after a few minutes i was all ready to go , but the nurses kept asking me questions.
"You didn't eat anything today?"a nurse asked ."No,not after morning",I replied.I hadn't eaten since morning and it was nearly evening.
"He doesn't have a good health",I heard them murmuring among themselves.
Anyway they let me off after half an hour.I felt fine except for my right hand which was not to lift any heavy objects for a day.My blood group was found to be A+ve.But it doesn't matter as a unit of A-ve blood would be substituted for my friend as a result of my donation.

I decided to work on my health and improve it.

Well this entire episode has taught me great lesson.A lesson about life and death.Now i realize why some people are the way they are.Now i realize why it's important for me to keep on donating blood.I want to be more healthy just to help these people.
I didn't do it for money,i did it for a soul .Now i am happy about what i have done and would donate blood again if need be.